“Though an army encamp against me, my
heart shall not fear; though war rise up against me, yet I will be confident.”
~Psalm 27:3
“Do not let your happiness depend on
something you may lose”
~C.S. Lewis
Have
you ever heard anyone say: “What I’d really like for my 30th
birthday is a colonoscopy”? No? Well, that’s what I got, then one month later,
a laparoscopy, then five days after that (this last Saturday) I received the
gift of an auto collision!
The
last month or two haven’t been the best of my life, neither were the twelve or
so that preceded them, which included getting my heart broken by the man I
loved, visiting the ER, and moving into my mother’s place.
Now,
before you assume you’re about to attend a pity party, I would like to insert a
BIG BUT…
BUT, these things do not define me nor do they define my existence.
Though
I shed many tears, vocalized some profanities, and turned to a few glasses of
wine, ultimately, through it all I always returned to my hopeful disposition.
Why? Well, not only is the alternative (self-pitying, disaster-dwelling)
disposition not conducive to a joyful and meaning-filled life, but also, the LORD
has shown me that He loves and leads me, and the best way to allow Him to do so
is to give Him my tears and do my best not to try and take them back.
Life
can give us sh*t. Sometimes it flings sh*t at us like a chimp in a zoo. The way
I see it is: the best thing to do with that sh*t isn’t to dwell in it and smear
it around only to muck up our entire existence. No, the best thing to do with
sh*t is to make fertilizer.
Nothing grows in a pigsty (aside from the stench), but so much can grow in fertilized soil.
I
bet you’ve all heard this before: God throws more sh*t at those He knows to
have the strongest potential (did your mind just go back to my chimp imagery?
Sorry. Luckily, I believe God has an amazing sense of humor). This expression
has become a bit cliché, making it easy to brush off and ignore. However, it
also happens to be true (think of Job!).
So,
what does it look like to make fertilizer out of the sh*t of life? We all
innately know that it is best to take heart and move forward. But, how do we do
it? Especially when we are right in the eye of the sh*t storm?
Making fertilizer is seeking God’s
Wisdom. When you read Scripture
and hear the stories of God’s most cherished people, there are two factors that
are always present: They suffer through great trials and they cry out to God
for guidance. Being pursued by his enemies did not keep David from singing “Let
me hear of your steadfast love in the morning, for in you I put my trust. Teach
me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul” (Psalm 143:8).
Making Fertilizer is stepping out of
the worry and onto His path. Once
I was able to step away from the pain and worry of my sh*tty circumstances, I
was able to see their fertilizing capabilities. For example, going to the ER
put me on the path of taking my physical pain seriously and being left without
a job provided me with the time needed to visit doctors and get the rest
necessary for healing.
Making Fertilizer is Giving Him
praise and realizing that your circumstances don’t have to define you. I am writing this, in the middle of a sh*t storm,
with a heart swelling of love and praise for God. I praise Him at present, not
because my problems have disappeared, but because, despite the fact that they
are still flying straight at me, it is well with my soul.
I
still don’t have a medical diagnosis, but
it is well with my soul.
I
still don’t have a source of reliable income, but it is well with my soul.
I
am still dealing with car insurance claims, but
it is well with my soul…
The
point here is: for the remainder of our time in this world, we will continue to
have to dodge sh*t being thrown at us from different directions (c’est la vie),
but we don’t have to let it dirty up our lives. We can use it to encourage
growth and a closer walk with God (c’est l’amour de l’Eternel).
I
have been met with much suffering during my three decades on this earth, but O!
how I’ve grown from it! I met God through trials, learned to love Him through
tragedy, and came to trust Him through tribulation.
Handing
our problems over to God does not mean giving up, it means being human. To be
human is to have limits, yet continue to move forward. To be perfectly human is
to do so with the strength of God and knowledge that He is always there with a
plan and joy unending.
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